A Box Full of Sharp Objects
by xxagent182xx
Summary: Original. Being rewritten under title Happy. After the death of his wife, Goku is left alone. Can Goku be pulled from the darkness? Tissue warning! Lots of angst. Vegeta/Goku
1. 1

Happy

Disclaimer: I don't own DragonBall Z or any of it's characters.

~Won't face this day and I won't care now, the sunrise promises nothing new~ Name Taken: the safety of Routine

**Chapter 1**

Another day

Another day of hiding my tears

Another day of lying

Another day . . .

Another sleepless night

Another sunrise

The colors painted across the sky: orange, pink, dark blue. The golden sunlight caressed my pale skin, illuminating my ebony hair.

I gazed straight ahead, my hair falling into my eyes, my hopeless eyes.

You see hope in them, but there is none.

Nothing-

I stand by myself in my cold bedroom; the icy air sending shivers down my spine, hairs rising on my bare arms. I rubbed away the goose bumps as the sound of Goten's voice shook me from thoughts…… I didn't have. Now it's time to put my mask back on.

The false smile and hope.

Everything about me is fake, what you see is not what you get.

I turned away from the closed window and to the empty bed. It's neatly made, not a single blemish on the flattened blanket. I can't sleep on that bed. Her soft scent still lingers on the pillows and the silky sheets. No matter how many times I washed them, it still remains.

It never leaves, it won't, it haunts me.

It's been a year.

A whole damn year. A year ago my beautiful wife died. She died silently in her sleep. She left me. For hours, I stared at her lifeless body not comprehending my loss. Even after they took her body away, I remained catatonic. I didn't cry, no I can't cry. I don't cry.

Close friends visited, but I didn't respond to their comforting words. I couldn't accept that she was gone. She cannot be brought back with the dragonballs; she died of natural causes. I'll never run my fingers through her graying hair; I'll never hear her soothing voice.

My beautiful Chichi . . . gone. The love of my life…

A low voice came from the right of me. My eyes darted over to the door; it cracked open. My youngest son peered in.

"I'm gonna go to Trunks' house… See you tonight." I forced a smile; you know the one. He didn't say good-bye.

Nothing.

He quickly disappeared from sight. The door still remained open, warm air crept in. I lowered my head, my bare feet suddenly very interesting.

A low cry came from my empty stomach. I better get something to eat. I padded across the soft carpet and out the open door. I shut it behind me, the sound echoing in the silence.

God . . . this house. Everything about it reminds me of her.

I love her. I miss her. I need her.

A tear caught on my heavy lashes. I quickly blinked it away as I stepped on the tile floor of the kitchen. The delicious aroma of freshly cooked bacon _not_ in the air.

Why would it be? She's dead. She's gone . . . forever . . . Until we meet again in the afterlife.

I stepped in front of the sink, my eyes shifted to a black handled knife sitting on a plate. I stared at it, picturing the jagged blade against my wrist. Cutting deeply, crimson flowing down my skin. The contrast between white and red startling.

Oh God! Do I want to die? Do I?

I shook my head, NO, no I don't. I keep telling myself that but my heart say 'yes'. A low throb begins at my brow; the familiar pain is coming back. Telling me to let out the waterfall of tears held back by a worn dam.

No- I can't.

I rubbed my temples and turned towards the fridge. My fingers groping the handle, my eyes blurred with unshed tears. I swung it open and eyed its contents, suddenly not feeling hungry. I closed the door. That happened more than it should. I could see every morning more and more weight disappearing from me. My muscles turning to nothing.

I moved back to the sink, my eyes never wavering from the glistening blade, water dripped down the sharp blade. That could be my blood.

My life dripping off it

My life running off my fingertips

Would anyone miss me?

Do I care if anyone will miss me?

Yes, I do care. Stop thinking like that, but my black eyes still rested upon the knife.

What if I did it?

What if I pull the blade across my wrist?

Will it hurt?

Does it matter if it hurts?

No, it doesn't. My time here is over. The others don't need me. They're all very strong. They still don't compare to me but one day they will surpass me. Vegeta, the Prince of Sayians, will be happy to know he is the strongest warrior on Earth. At least someone will gain from my demise.

DO IT

Do it now before it's too late and another dies. Another person you care about on the list.

Master Roshi, Krillian, Eighteen, Yamcha, Tien, Chaoitzu, Hercule, Bulma, Yajarobi, Mr. Briefs, Mrs. Briefs, Oolong, and Chichi.

Chichi . . .

Dead, they're all dead . . .

To be continued . . .


	2. 2

Happy

**Chapter 2**

~Should've said something but I've said it enough by the way my words were faded rather waste some time with you ~ The Used: Blue and Yellow

I silently crept into Kakkarot's house. That brat of his already left, he practically lives at Capsule Corp. I closed the door behind myself, silence still. I came over to see if he was alright, I hadn't seen him in a while, and from the looks of his house, it doesn't look like he's been here. It was spotless. The floor vacuumed; it looked almost as if she was still alive. Kakkarot's annoying wife had died.

A fucking year ago, but he's still the same.

Emotionless.

He stopped coming over after she died, then he wouldn't even answer the phone when we called. After Bulma died, I stopped calling, or even caring. She died half a year ago but the day after she died I was back to training. The last time I saw him was about 7 months ago. It was a party at Capsule Corp, a smile never made its way to his lips once. No 'hiyah Vegeta', no stupid grin, nothing. He didn't say anything the whole time. My wife died, so did his. His friends died, none of mine did. His children even deserted him, mine have not. He's alone. No one should be alone, not even him. Maybe I'll be able to make sense of everything that had been going on. Maybe.

I looked towards the kitchen; there was a creaking sound. Someone must be coming down the stairs

Kakkarot . . .

I inched towards the wall and stood behind it, hidden from his sight. A low sound came from the thin figure that walked into the kitchen, his shoulders slumped, and his clothes hung off him. Ribs shown through the black shirt he wore, his dark blue pants pooled around his feet. A glimmer of something moved my eyes to his face.

A tear?

A lonely tear slipped down his cheek; he pushed it away with the back of his hand. I've never seen him shed a tear until now. Too strong of a warrior to show weakness.

When Chichi died, I found him in their bedroom staring at his dead wife's body, not a single tear had fallen down his pale face. None fell at the funeral either. He shoved all his emotions down.

The soft sound of the bottom of his pants rubbing across the tile ceased as he stopped in front of the sink. His eyes glazed over as he stared into it. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, what the hell is he looking at? His mind was obviously battling itself, and it seemed to agree with its thoughts. He suddenly turned and jerked the fridge door handle towards himself, opening it. His dark eyes scanned it and he looked sick momentarily. It slammed shut with a flick of his wrist. I'm surprise he could even do that. He wandered back over to the sink, his eyes glued to it again. I slowly edged forward, making sure I went unheard.

So they say…. Curiosity killed the Sayian.

Hmpf

Kakkarot didn't seem to know I was there. He's worse off than I thought. My ki wasn't lowered or anything.

I reached forward, my hand settling on his shoulder. It jerked forward and he spun to face me, his eyes wide. A deep sigh came form him when he realized it was me. His dark eyes searched mine.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked, obviously worried that I had seen him crying

I smirked and crossed by arms. "So now I can't come over?"

A smile forced its way across his face, his hand went behind his head, that stupid gesture he love to do. "No, I - you just scared me that's all." He removed his hand. "So um how long have you been here?"

He played that part well, too well.

I circled him. "Not long" long enough to see your tears. My eyes shifted to the sink, a few dishes sat in it. A bowl filled with water, a plate sat beside it horizontally, and on the plate laid a fork and a black handled knife. Why would he be looking at any of these? But that look in his eyes, that glazed over look . . .

The knife

Was that it? Was he thinking of . . . suicide? No- Kakkarot wouldn't do such a thing. Would he?

"Um, Geta . . ." I turned my eyes back to Kakkarot. Then I saw it. It was more like what I didn't see. The flames in his eyes.

Gone

Burnt out. Smothered by his unhappiness. Damn him, why didn't I see it before? Dammit! How could I have been so blind? Is there anything I can do to make him change his mind? The words fell from my lips before I realized what I was saying.

"Kakkarot, come on we're going to the West City Fair." He hesitated, probably unsure as of why I wanted to go to the fair with him, of all people. Well Kakkarot, it's because I don't want to loose you.

He shrugged, his shoulders hung again. His black eyes slowly met mine. "Sure, are we gonna take the boys?"

"No, just you and me." I quickly left the room; he walked behind me and grabbed his boots as he went out the door. "I'm taking your car, so get in." I went to the driver's side and got in, he went to the opposite side. The keys were already in the ignition, which didn't surprise me. I turned the keys to the right, the vehicle coming to life. I strapped myself in.

"Um . . . Vegeta . . . " I felt the unease in his voice, "Since when could you drive?"

I chuckled "I've been driving for years." I shifted the car into drive and we went on our way. Kakkarot sat quietly, fiddling with his shirt. Not his usual cheerful self. No smile planted on his face, quiet.

Not Kakkarot.

Not the Sayian I had known. What is wrong with you? I diverted my attention back to the road; I don't need anything else on my record. I hope that going to the fair will change his dark mood. I could see his reflection in the window, his mouth moved but I could only make out a few of the words, I was lost in my own thoughts.

" . . . Looks more . . . like . . . Bulma . . ." I smiled slightly. Yes, Bra is beautiful.

"You're right…." The fair grounds came into view, it was massive.

"Wow Geta!" He acts just like a child and probably breaks just as easily. I turned the car into one of the few empty spaces. Kakkarot leaned forward, his ebony bangs falling into his eyes, covering them. My eyes wandered the delicate curves of his face, his high cheekbones that had a touch of light pink to it . . .

Had I been . . . staring? I didn't turn away. We sat in silence, my eyes trained on him. His jaw clenched and he turned to me, waiting for something. "Come on" I said suddenly, and stepped out of the car. The faint aroma of popcorn reached me. A picture flashed in my mind, golden warm butter dripping down . . . Kakkarot's body!

I shook the thought, what the hell is wrong with me?

-Down Kakkarot's naked body. I could feel my face turn red. Kakkarot is my friend. My friend. That's all….

"Um . . . Vegeta are you alright?" I looked up to see Kakkarot's concerned face.

"Yes, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" I snapped at him and walked past him. We went inside the gate. Searching the area for an interesting ride. I looked over at Kakkarot; he'd be an interesting ride…

My fingers trailing across the milky skin of his chiseled chest, brushing against hard nipples. Hearing him moan my name; hearing him scream my name in bliss. My daydream was interrupted by a low growl from my stomach. A laugh escaped Kakkarot's lips. "I guess you're hungry."

Yes, hungry for you.

"Maybe you should eat first. The rides won't be as fun on an empty stomach."

It wouldn't matter; I would lick almost anything off him. Carmel, butter, chocolate, whip crème . . . I almost drooled at the thought. "This way" I motioned him to follow me towards the group of food stands.

To be continued . . .


	3. 3

A box full of sharp objects

Flick- One hundred days

Thought it was a phase Thought it'd slowly just slip away but it never fades

**Chapter 3**

Only two people stood in the line. Beside Kakkarot and myself. I growled in frustration. I could always kill them with a ki blast but Kakkarot would not approve . . .

First, I'm thinking about him naked and licking things off him, then I want his approval, what the hell has gotten into me? More importantly, what should I get to eat? My eyes read over the menu.

Cotton candy

Popcorn

Skittles

M&Ms

Starbursts

. . . Kakkarot wasn't on the menu, though he'd taste good with all of these.

Popcorn sounds good. A familiar presence appeared behind us. I quickly turned; Kakkarot didn't seem to notice, he was still faced forward. "Dad?" Pale face, dark spiky hair, thick rimmed glasses; It could only be one person, Kakkarot's eldest brat Gohan. A questioning look planted across his face. His daughter Pan stood by his side, she was smiling. She looks too much like Chichi to get used to . . . maybe that's why Kakkarot stayed away.

Kakkarot whirled around when he heard his son's voice. "Hi Grandpa!" Pan smile got wider but she didn't hug him like she always used to. Gohan and Kakkarot hadn't talked much since Chichi died.

"Oh hey Gohan, whatcha doing here?" He grinned and at that moment, I felt as if I was already on a roller coaster.

"Just bringing Pan to the fair. We gotta go" he quickly turned not even saying 'goodbye'.

"See ya!" Pan exclaimed and they both disappeared into the growing crowd. My eyes moved to Kakkarot, he looked down at the ground, obviously hurt by the awkward situation. I frowned and turned back towards the food stand. I was next. Kakkarot remained the same, his eyes clouded over again. DAMMIT! He's supposed to be getting better not worse. The tension between Kakkarot and Gohan was unmistakable, there was something missing, something he wasn't telling me. His ki suddenly moved away. I glanced over my shoulder to see him sit down on a bench across the way.

"Excuse me sir, you're next." I turned to the gray haired man at the stand.

"I'll have a large popcorn with extra butter."

"That'll be five dollars sir." I handed him the bill and he placed a warm bag of popcorn in my hands. The wonderful aroma met my nose as I turned and walked towards Kakkarot. The scent was not as sweet as Kakkarot's, nothing is. I sat down beside him; he didn't acknowledge my presence.

"Kakkarot" he shook his head, clearing it. For the first time in a year, he opened the window. I lost myself in his black orbs. The pain written across them in bold print. How could I have missed it? Then there was guilt.

Guilt?

For what? What does he feel guilty about? He blinked, there was another blur of emotions: friendship, love, and a flicker of hope. He sighed deeply and faced me, his eyes locking with mine. I need to do something else, I can't let him go on this way, I can't stand to see him like this.

"What's wrong?" My words were simple.

"Nothing . . ."

Does he think I'm an idiot? Something is obviously wrong, "don't lie to me."

He sighed again; he did that too much. It was probably from exhaustion. He spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I donno, I-I haven't been doing too good Vegeta. I don't know why they blame me."

My eyebrows furrowed, "blame you? For what?"

He looked down at his hands and back to my black eyes. "For- for her death." He paused. "I put too much strain on her heart and they- the doctors said she died from it." His bottom lip quivered as he held back tears. He was ready to breakdown. Why would they blame him? They had just as big of a part in it. "They've been avoiding me and every time I try to talk to them they blow me off. I don't know what to do. Vegeta . . . I-I'm so confused" he racked his fingers through his silky hair and went back into untamable spikes. If only I could tame them with my hands . . .

My heart cracked as tears streaked down his cheeks and dripped off his strong jaw. I set the bag of popcorn aside my attention focused on the Sayian next to me.

"Kakkarot, everything is going to be fine. I'm here for you." His face was stained with salty tears. Oh Kami, he's beautiful even when he's in complete agony. Suddenly his face was buried in my chest. His arms wrapped around me, his body wracked with sobs. His warmth felt so right, as if it should always be there. Before I realized it, my hands were around him, holding him.

"I miss-them-so much," he cried. Warm tears soaking into my dark blue shirt.

"I know Kakkarot." I cooed, he pulled away but my body wanted him close again. He sniffled and wiped his tears with the back of my hand.

"Thanks I feel a lot better" he smiled slightly.

"Let's go some place, on a ride maybe." I stood up; he did the same next to me.

He scanned the area, his face suddenly lit up. Maybe his mood was lightening up. "Let's go on the swan ride!" he pointed towards the* love * ride. I raised an eyebrow and cleared my throat to explain to him what usually happens on the ride but I stopped myself. "Chichi and I used to go on that ride, it was kinda boring but we-" his cheeks turned pink. I chuckled then he grasped my arm and tugged me towards it. Why couldn't he have picked a roller coaster? I don't think he know what is supposed to happen on that ride.

My mind wandered back to when Bulma and I went on this ride, that night Bra was conceived. There wasn't a line thankfully. . The older man at the line took the money I quickly handed him, he stared at us for a moment and must have guessed we were just friends. I wish we were more. I stepped onto the boat, it shifted under my weight as I sat down, Kakkarot got in after me. A grin on his youthful face. The boat slowly began to move into the barely lit tunnel. Lame love music played overhead. The kind women go gaga over. I snorted, pictures of romantic crap appeared on the walls. Kakkarot shifted closer, his ki spiked. I tried to not look at him; I tried not to notice his heavy breathing, or the low rumble coming from his throat. What if he feels the same? I faced him; my eyes met his. My fingers brushed the hair from his face but the silk fell back into place. I was unsure of what he thought; he seemed to feel the same. I didn't want him to get hurt- something warm rested on my hand and intertwined with my fingers.

He feels the same

H-how long has he felt this and didn't realize it? Or maybe he's just being nice. I hope not.

His face moved closer to mine, his sweet scent over powering me. The warmth of his hand disappeared and went to my face, cupping my jaw. His heavy breathing sent chills down my spine. His eyes searched mine, he was unsure if I wanted it.

His lips suddenly pressed to mine. I yelped as electricity shot through my body. I jerked away, ripping my lips away from his. What the fuck was that? My eyes were wide, so were Kakkarot's, his fingers on his lips, the soft purr now gone. Mine were still tingling.

"Vegeta . . . oh Kami, I-I'm so sorry." He scooted away, paler than he had been. What was he sorry bout? Damn, when we kissed there must have made some type of reaction in our bodies . . . "I gotta go-" He was suddenly gone. What the hell? He-he instant transmission. Damn him and I didn't do anything. DAMN ME! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO KEEP HIM HERE! He's probably even more confused. He must have thought that I didn't want it, but I do. I scowled as the ride came to an end. The old man eyed me in confusion.

"Where did your friend go?" I hopped out of the boat.

"He disappeared." I sprinted as fast as I could to the car. I stopped myself as I got to the parking lot. Fuck the car. I'll get there faster if I fly. I kicked off the ground, the wind shoving my hair back. I need to hurry; Kakkarot might do something stupid. I may have hurt him more than I helped. That look in his eyes at his house he is not thinking clearly. He may do something drastic. And it's my fault.

To be continued . . .


	4. 4

A box full of sharp objects

**Chapter 4**

Tears streaked down my face.

NO no no no no

How could I have been so stupid? He doesn't want me. Why would he ever like someone like me?

I don't know why but when I was with him, I felt wanted, needed.

A feeling I haven't felt in a such a long time. The same feeling hit me in the gut as more tears choked me and stained my cheeks.

Nothingness.

I stood in the center of the kitchen. My vision blurred. The knife still sat on the plate. My blood will be on it. Warm crimson will pool around me. My life will drain from my body. I will be . . . I'll be-

I'll be . . . dead . . .

Again

Every time I died, I gave my life to save others but now there is no one. No one.

I am alone.

Alone

Why did I even think Vegeta would like me more than a friend? He probably doesn't even like me as a friend. He hates me. He thinks I'm a stupid third class Sayian. Stupid. A coward. A clown. Pathetic. Alone. Nothing. That's what I am. I could go on forever with all the things he has called me. Damn him. Why do I have feelings for him? Why? I ask this question too much. It never gets answers. Goten and Gohan don't need me they have lives. They're happy. They don't need me, no one does.

I put my hand into the sink; my fingers snaked around the black handle of the knife. I brought it towards me, the silver gleaming. Guilt rose in my throat. Guilt? For what?

Nobody needs me. My life is over here.

OVER!

I'll be with Chichi-

Oh Kami, I'm sorry Chichi.

I kissed Vegeta.

Forgive me please.

I brought the blade to my wrist and pressed until it broke the skin. Blood peeked around the edge of the blade. I didn't register the pain. All my pain is on the inside. Invisible to others. Invisible, like me.

I sobbed louder and jerked the blade across my wrist. I cringed as scarlet splattered across the counter top and sink. It ran in rivers down my arm and intertwined with my salty tears. I wiped my nose with the back of my other hand and sniffled. I switched the blade into my left hand; my warm slick blood drenched the handle. I tightened my grip, not wanting to drop the knife. I brought it to my other wrist and quickly pulled it across my milky skin. My skin split open, new blood bubbled over. I let the knife slip from my hand and clatter to the tile. My blood spilled onto the floor, crashing against white tile. I grimaced as the pain started to sink in. I don't care about the pain. Being alive causes me more pain. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing. My energy slowly fades and the corner of my vision clouded over with fog. I suddenly felt light headed and I tried to move backwards. My legs moved forward against my will, my hair pushed forward as I fell to the ground. I tried to keep myself from falling but the slick blood kept me from regaining my balance. Pain shot through my skull as it slammed against the tile, I groaned and tried to sit up. But failed. The pain was getting unbearable.

Maybe . . . maybe this wasn't such a great idea . . .

Darkness shot across my vision again, blinding me for a moment. Threatening me.

A voice cut through the deathly silence. I could barely hear it. "Kakkarot?" I groaned and tried to get up again but my elbows gave out. No, don't let him see me like this no. Not him. Why'd he have to find me? My body relaxed as my blood pooled around me, drenching my clothes. No please. Make him leave, don't let him find me like this; I can't face him. I won't have to. Everything became darker; everything faded from my sight and was replaced by black. Everything went back as I heard his soothing voice.

To be continued . . .


	5. 5

A box full of sharp objects  
  
Agent 182: Thanks for the reviews, they are much liked. You're gonna see what happens to Goku, is he dead? Will Vegeta find him? Hmm.  
  
Chapter 5: Love bites and razor burns  
  
I landed on the doorstep of Kakkarot's home. I swiftly opened the door. I staggered back as the tangy scent of blood reached me. It was unmistakable. It was also accompanied by salty tears and a sweet scent that had to be Kakkarot. I stepped into the house and fear rose in my throat.  
  
Kakkarot + blood + tears =  
  
No- he couldn't have done that. He's not the brightest but he would never hurt himself. Would he?  
  
I shot my head in the direction of the kitchen as I heard the sound of flesh slamming against the floor. I waited for a moment, a groan followed it. Kakkarot!  
  
"Kakkarot?" Another low groan followed it.  
  
Damn him  
  
I raced into the kitchen. I've never recalled moving so fast. My feet almost gave away as I slid across the floor. Slick crimson trying to force me to my knees.  
  
Blood?  
  
Kakkarot's blood. I quickly turned the opposite direction until my eyes rested upon Kakkarot's still form.  
  
No- Kakkarot. Why? I stumbled to my knees, my heart pounding. Kami . . . there was so much blood. It soaked into my blue spandex pants. Usually I would be disgusted but now I have more important things to worry about. I whispered his name lowly; my index and middle finger went to his neck.  
  
. . . thump . . . . . . thump  
  
I sighed in relief. He's alive, barely. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes. In sadness or happiness I couldn't tell. I scanned over his body and to his arms, his wrists were pointed away. Most of the blood seemed to come from there. I gently shook his shoulders and to my surprise his eyes cracked open. Tears still trickled from his dark eyes and down his temple.  
  
"Ve-veg-Geta?" He moaned, but didn't make eye contact with me. My eyes caught sight of crimson splattered across the sink and the cabinets.  
  
Damn him  
  
I need to help him. I can't let him die. But there isn't much that I can do. What shall I do then? Humans call the hospital. The number was uh . . . 9-1-1. Yes that's it. They can fix Kakkarot They had better be able to! I looked back at Kakkarot, more tears streamed down his face. "Kakkarot. I'm going to call the hospital. I don't have any sensu beans and you'll be dead by time get to Capsule Corps." I stood up, gaining some composure and went into the living room. The telephone sat on a table next to the couch, dust rested peacefully on it. I yanked it off the receiver and pressed in the number. Each letter now held a smudge of red. I brought the phone to my ear waiting for another's voice. My foot tapped on the carpet.  
  
"9-1-1 what is your emergency?" A woman's voice asked.  
  
"Kakkarot tried to commit suicide-I don't know how much longer he'll last-" I said franticly.  
  
"Sir, try to calm down. I'll need the name and address of the victim."  
  
"Kakkar- Son Goku. I don't know the address."  
  
There was a brief silence. "We have the address in our database already. There will be an ambulance over shortly. You need to try and stop the blood flow and keep him awake. Try to stay calm until the ambulance arrives. " the phone went dead. I put the phone back on the hook and went to Kakkarot. He glanced over at me as I went to my knees.  
  
"G-Geta- it's-c-cold." His teeth clattered against one another.  
  
"You need to stay awake and I need to stop the bleeding." I picked up his limp hand and turned over to see his gouged open wrist. I cringed as I put pressure on it.  
  
He immediately tried to jerk his arm away. "No-d-don't" he whimpered. He had no strength left in his body. I have never seen him look for venerable. His beauty was still incomparable to any others.  
  
"SHUT UP! I need to-" He tried to pull away again his soft pleas reaching my ears.  
  
"P-ple-ease- let - me- die-" More tears poured from his black orbs. "Let me die." The words smacked me across the face. Does he want to die that bad? Is his life so horrible that he can't go on? That's not the Kakkarot that I know . . . knew.  
  
"No Kakkarot. I won't let you die. I need you."  
  
He breathed in deeply, each breath painful. "No- no you don't. You hate me . . ." I stared at him.  
  
"No Kakkarot. I-I-lov-" I stopped myself. Is it true? Do I love him? I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I looked him in the eyes. Damn his eyes. "Kakkarot. I love you." There was silence as his breathing hitched.  
  
"What?" his voice stayed low. He probably couldn't believe that I love him. I feel the same. I can't believe he feels something for me.  
  
"It's true." I've never been one to admit to love so easily but there is something greater than love here.  
  
"Why? Wh-why would someone as great as you love me? I'm nothing" I pressed a little harder on his wrists the blood still rained from the jagged tears.  
  
I took a deep breath. "I love you. I don't need a reason."  
  
"You shouldn't love me"  
  
I growled at his words. "Don't give me that shit! I can love you if I want!" I released his arms, reached under his neck, and pulled him into a sitting position. My arms snaked behind his neck, I leaned forward to capture his lips but he pulled away. Emotions blurred past his eyes.  
  
"Geta- I- I can't. I don't think that we-" He wanted it so bad I could feel it, but he held back.  
  
"Kakkarot. You don't want to believe the inevitable. " his eyes glued to mine. "You-you are the greatest thing on this planet. You are the greatest thing about the Sayian race; dead or alive. I LOVE YOU. You are greater than me and no one. NO ONE deserves you and you don't deserve to be hurt or hurting like this. You-" tears cascaded down his redden cheeks. "You are innocent. You did nothing but protect those you love. You throw your life on the line to save pathetic humans you don't even know and don't ask for anything in return. You are the most caring creature in the universe. No one compares to you. I am nothing compared to you." He slightly smiled, my stomach did a back flip. 0  
  
"R-really? I-is that t-true?" His breath tickled my face.  
  
"Everything."  
  
"Geta. Y-you deserve me." He breathed. The corners of my lip rose. "I- I uh. . . " he couldn't say it. Does he even remember the feeling?  
  
"Say it."  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"Say what you feel."  
  
His eyelids drifted down. The blood loss must be getting to him. "I- I feel pain. Anger. Pain more pain. And love- love for you- Vegeta. Do I love you?"  
  
Why the hell would I know how he feels? "You tell me."  
  
He bit his bottom lip. He leaned closer his bangs brushed against the bridge of my nose. He looked at me through heavy lashes. His eyes threatened to roll back.  
  
"I-I love you Prince Vegeta." He addressed me as Prince I smiled proudly, that's something I don't do very often.  
  
"Well then" with a swift pull I brought his lips to mine. Electricity jolted through our bodies. The pain was almost unbearable but there was something better. Something worth the pain.  
  
Kakkarot . . .  
  
To  
  
Be  
  
Continued  
  
Agent 182: I hope you loved it. ^_^ the next chapter is gonna be from Kakka- chan's POV and is gonna be short and the next chapter after that will be even shorter. Sorry. Other characters will be in it. Like Gohan, Pan, Videl, Bra, Trunks, Goten and such. It'll be from their POVs too. So it'll be a change. 


	6. 6

Happy

Chapter. 6

I knew there was always something there. When I was near him there was that feeling in my stomach. The same one I had when Chichi was near. I hadn't realized it. I never realized how I lost myself in his black orbs. I didn't know it was love. I didn't remember what it felt like. How could I? There was only Chichi, no one else. No one. Only her. But he was always there. Near by to catch my fall, but I fell through his hands and where am I now. In the kitchen of my house, my life spilling onto the white tile. It isn't white any more. It's now stained with my dark blood.

I look up into the man I love black eyes. The flames growing brighter.

I love him.

He loves me

His warm breath on my face, drying my newly shed tears. They kept raining down my face. My ebony bangs brushed across the bridge of his nose. I let the words drip from my tongue. "I-I love you Prince Vegeta." A smile came across his face.

"Well then," he pulled me forward almost roughly. Our lips met again. I didn't jerk back, neither did he. The same pain laced through my body, almost as if we were shocking each other. Our power must be connecting and causing this force. I cried out in protest as his lips moved away from mine, the tingling still remained as he kissed away my tears. His tongue tasting my salty tears of pain. My hand lazily reached up and ran my bloody fingers through his flame shaped hair; leaving a wet trail of crimson. I brought my hand away and to his chin. Lightly touching it, leaving a smear of scarlet. He pulled me closer, if that was possible. His arms still holding me tightly, afraid that I'd leave. I won't leave you Vegeta.

Never!

I brushed my lips across the tan skin of his neck and held onto him tighter. Not wanting him to ever leave. I grimaced as a wave of dizziness hit me. I groaned, my grip around his strong arms loosening. His lips met mine again. His kisses almost bruising my skin. "Ve- Geta . . ." I whispered, he barely heard my words.

"Yes Kakkarot?" he continued to press his lips onto my skin, the wet trail going to my neck.

"I- I feel t-tired . . ." My breathing hitched as I fought to stay awake.

"Tell me something Kakkarot. Why did you do this?" He asked suddenly not kissing me anymore. His fingers lightly trailed over the deep gashes.

Why? Why did I do this? Why did I inflict wounds upon myself?

He must be blind not to see.

"No one cares. They don't care. They don't need me." It's the truth every word.

He sighed. His eyes met mine. "But I need you."

I stuttered, suddenly feeling uneasy "I-I thought that you-you didn't like me. When we kissed there was a jolt and I thought for a second that you had hit me with a ki blast but you didn't. You jerked away and I was confused. I wasn't thinking. I didn't know what to do-" I held back more tears, of fear I'm afraid of what he would think.

"That's no excuse. I had more faith in you then that. We all care about you but you and your family have a situation that needs to be settled" my head throbbed more with every word. Black started to return to my vision. I looked at him desperately my hand clinging to his as tight as I could, the pain suddenly too much to bear again. "Kakkarot." Vegeta said franticly as I slowly lost control of my body and my eyes drooped, I barely saw him through my heavy lashes. "Stay awake. I need you to stay awake. The ambulance is almost here. I'll go with you to the hospital then I'll tell your family what happened. Kakkarot?" My eyes shut against my will. I couldn't see my prince. I lost sight of his beauty. I could hear his words. "Kakkarot! No- don't fall asleep you might not wake." I tried to pry them open but I didn't respond. No- I have to stay awake for Vegeta. The screech of sirens met my ears as pain shot through my body again. I couldn't help but yell out Vegeta's name; it was only a whisper as I succumbed to the darkness.

To be continued . . .

Thank you for the reviews!


	7. 7

**Happy**

**Chapter 7**

Blink182 ~ 21 Days _My emotions are something that I will always hide._

"Kakkarot! No- don't fall asleep you might not wake." My cries went unheard; Kakkarot's eyes were already shut. I growled in my throat and pulled him close. "Please don't die. Please!" I sobbed; my tears ran off onto his pale face. I couldn't live with myself if he died. If he does die, I'm going to make those brats of his wish they had died.

"Sir, we need you to release him so we can put him on the stretcher." I jumped as I heard the voice. I hadn't realized they had came in.

I stuttered, "O . . . Al-right . . . but- but I'm going with him!" The man nodded as I let go of Goku and a stretcher was brought up. I helped them hoist Kakkarot's thin body onto it. The man sighed heavily and wheeled it out the door and to the awaiting ambulance. They lifted the stretcher into the ambulance and motioned for me to get inside. I did so, sitting down next to Kakkarot.

". . . Lost . . . blood . . . donor . . . " I heard bits and pieces of the man's words but my thoughts were trained on Kakkarot. I stared at his frail body. He was so venerable. So pure. So . . . innocent. He's opposite of me. His kisses and touches were soft and gentle; mine were rough and bruising. Damn him. I vowed I would protect him but I never thought I would have to protect him from himself. Never in a million life times would I think that.

All the smiles . . . they were fake. They were all lies, a mask. He fooled us all with them. Master Roshi was the first to die. That old man was disgusting but he became an ally. Kakkarot did not cry at his funeral. Then went Bulma's parents, Hercule, Krillian, Eighteen, Yamcha, Tien, Yajarobi, Chaoitzu, and Oolong. Bulma . . . then Chichi. She was last. She survived the longest. He never shed a tear. I didn't but they were not lifetime friends. They were his friends and they all slowly succumbed to old age. I cried when I was alone after Bulma died but at least I cried. It didn't seem like Kakkarot did. He shut himself away from the world that turned it's back on him. I turned my back on him. I lowered my head in shame.

" . . . Sir . . ."

I tightened my fists, my nails digging into my flesh. Those brat kids of his. It's their fault. They- damn them. I'll kill them if Kakkarot dies. I am at fault too. Damn myself. Where's Kami when you need him? When I need him. I've never asked for anything from him but if he can hear me . . . I wish for Kakkarot to be alright.

I rested my elbows on my knees. I can't wait to talk to Gohan. I'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget. A smirk appeared on my face as I thought about all the ways I could torture the kid.

" . . . Sir . . ."

I whipped my heads towards the man who was talking to me. "What?"

He looked scared for a moment, his brown eyes wide. "We- we need to know if you know his blood type?"

"Of course I know his blood type. He has the same as I do."

The man smiled warmly, "Good, we're going to have to take some blood from you. He barely has any left. We'll be at the hospital soon and that's where It'll be drained."

I cringed; Kakkarot had better be asleep when that happens. My eyes went back to Kakkarot's thin form. His eyes moved rapidly under the tightly shut lids. After a while, the ambulance came to a stop. I got out and was motioned to follow them. I did so. I was rushed into a small room.

A nurse in all white motioned for me to lie down on a gurney. I complied. She swabbed the pale side of my arm with alcohol and inserted the needle, quickly draining my blood. I felt a little dizzy as she finished.

"Go get something to eat. We'll inform you on your friend's condition in a while." She put a hand on my shoulder then left the room. I followed her out into the waiting room. I bought something to eat and began munching on the cookie. I felt better after about 30 minutes.

'We'll inform you on your friend's condition . . .' I mused over her words. My friend? Kakkarot and I were never really friends. He treated me as one but my pride would not allow me to be kind back. Damn pride.

". . . you . . . see . . . Mr. Son Goku . . ." I looked up as I heard Kakkarot's earth name. It was a different man in all white. He put his hand out I shook it. "Hello. I'm Doctor Roberts. I'm Mr. Son's doctor as you might have guessed." The older man smiled as I let go of his warm hand. "He has made a quick recovery. I'm astounded. I've never seen a blood type like his before . . ." I snorted at his words. "He's been crying since he woke up . . . I couldn't understand any of his words. I tried to ask him some questions but he wouldn't answer. He's a very stubborn man. I have a few questions to ask you first before you can go visit him."

I nodded.

"First, why did he injure himself?" The man looked sincere.

"He was alone and thought no one cared."

He sat down in the chair next to me. "What about his family?"

"Feh, those idiots don't give a fuck about him!" I clenched my jaw in anger.

He wrote something down on his clipboard. "Apparently you do."

"Yes." I love him.

"How long has he been this way? It appears that he hasn't ate in a week, maybe longer . . ."

A week! Damn you Kakkarot. "A- a long time. I never took the time to notice it. He hid it well."

He nodded and scribbled onto his paper. "It appears that he has tried this before. A while back he had came to the hospital and said he had accidentally taken more aspirins than needed. I believed him. It was a couple months ago. About six . . . I sent him home after we got it out of his system." I frowned. He tried it before! Tears came to my eyes but I held them back. "I'm sorry to tell you this but Mr. Son is not mentally stable. He might have to spend some time in the local mental hospital until he is deemed safe to be a part of society again."

"No . . ." I whispered. "That's not true . . . he-" His words cut mine off.

"You saw it yourself. He is a danger to himself and possibly to others."

I didn't want to believe it. "Will I be able to visit him there?"

"Yes." He paused. "I've called his other family members. They're on their way here. You've been a lot of help Mr. . . . "

"Vegeta." The almighty Prince of Sayians. I was almost the last full- blooded Sayian.

" . . . Mr. Vegeta, thank you. You can go see Mr. Son now." The taller man stood up and I followed him. Gohan and Goten are going to be here . . .

To

Be

Continued . . .

Agent 182: Ooo I hope you loved it. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for the reviews.


	8. 8

**Happy**

**Chapter 8**

Pan and I had wandered around the fair for a couple hours. We rode on every ride about 3 times and it was getting very boring. I sighed heavily. It had been almost 1 hours since I had seen my father and Vegeta. I frowned. Why was Vegeta with my dad anyways? He can't stand him. Can anyone stand to be near him? Everyone around him dies. I'll probably be next.

It's his fault Mom died, if he hadn't left to train Uub . . . if he hadn't done all those stupid things she would be alive. She'd be alive. I know it. I miss her; everyday my thoughts wander to her. I wish she was still alive. I wish . . . but it doesn't matter. No matter how many times I cried, I wished, or I prayed. Nothing happened.

Nothing

The hate builds with every second. How many times did he leave me? How many times did he leave my mother? Too many times. He stayed dead for 7 years. Leaving my mother and I to take care of Goten. It was horrible. I didn't hate him then. I couldn't, who blamed him for staying dead. He brought death to all his loved ones. His friends, his family they all died and he was always the cause. Evil searched for him. I swear it. He was a beacon. He fought, and saved the world. He fought and died. He fought and killed.

He did everything that I did but he always screwed everything up.

The world was safe. Majin Buu was dead but he had to go train the so called 'reincarnated form of Buu.' He was gone for years. He came back and acted as if everything was fine. You can't just leave your family and expect them to say it was okay.

My father is a complete idiot.

Why couldn't he see what he was doing to me? To Goten? To his friends? To his own WIFE!

I don't know. No one actually had the guts to say anything to him about it. By then, it was too late. Everyone started to die. Old age finally kicked in and he still doesn't look a day over twenty. Their skin wrinkled and their hair grayed. Their life faded with everyday.

I had almost felt bad for my father when my Mother had died. I had came over that morning with Pan. Goten ran down the stairs and was yelling and crying. "Mom's dead!"

My heart withered, I told Pan to stay down stairs and call 9-1-1. She did so. I went upstairs and into my mother's room to see my father on the bed. Completely catatonic. He wouldn't respond to anything. He seemed so lost. He never shed a tear. The medics had eventually been able to snap him from his trance.

Then about a week later, we had the funeral. Not many people were there, how could they be? They were all dead. He hadn't cried there either. He just stared off into space as everyone else cried their eyes out. It had rained that day too. It was almost beautiful. I thought they were my father's tears at first as we stood outside, but they weren't. The sky was crying. Sobbing its eyes out. My mother was gone and no one could change it.

No one.

After the funeral I kept distance from him, I didn't want Pan or Videl getting hurt, I especially didn't want them dead. I would be nothing without them. I hadn't seen him for almost a year. Today seemed to be a great day until I saw him.

The look in his eyes was almost soul shattering. He was too skinny; his ribs were showing through his shirt when the wind blew against him. Everything about him seemed off . . . even his fake smile. Vegeta had seemed strange too. The whole situation was weird. After that happened Pan stopped talking to me, she was very angry with me.

We stayed at the fair for another hour then we left for our home. The drive home was pain staking. Pan had narrowed her eyes at me and had her arms crossed. She didn't speak a word. She missed her grandpa but I wasn't sure if I was ready for her to see him regularly again.

I pulled the car into the driveway and immediately felt a strange feeling in my heart as Videl ran out of the house. Tears streaming down her beautiful face. I stepped out of the car as did Pan. My wife's arms wrapped around me as she sobbed uncontrollably into my shoulder.

"Your Father-he-he tried to-to kill himself-" I gasped. What? He- no- he wouldn't do that, my father is not the brightest person but . . . suicide? "He's at the Satan City hospital right now."

A voice shook me from my chaotic thoughts. "I hate you." That was the only word my daughter spoke as she took off towards the hospital.

My heart seemed to stop. She-she hates me? My own daughter, no . . .

A tear caught in my eyelash as I released Videl. "Come one lets go." We both went into the car and I put my foot to the petal and drove as fast as I could. We soon got to the hospital. We rushed inside and to the front desk. A blonde woman sat there and smiled at us briefly.

"You must be here to see Son Goku. He's in room 218, right that way and up the stairs." She pointed down a long hall. We went down the hall and ascended the stairs. I scanned the room numbers . . .

215

216

217

218 . . . That's it. I swung open the door and almost immediately found myself against the wall, face to face with a very angry looking Vegeta. His eyes were narrowed and his lip rose in disgust.

"So the brat decides to show his face." The grip around my throat tightened. I gasped for breath as I tried to pry his strong fingers off my neck. What is going on? I could hear Videl behind me shouting something, I could also hear Pan's soft voice as everything started to blur. "What the HELL do you think you're doing? That's your father lying over there and you're treating him like shit! I should rip your throat out. If it wasn't for Kakkarot being alive, I would. You're lucky." Suddenly I was on the floor, pulling fresh air into my famished lungs. I rubbed my sore neck as I slowly got to my feet. Videl helped me up the rest of the way. We went over to my father's sleeping form.

Pan was next to him whispering things and Vegeta was eyeing me still. I gulped as I diverted my eyes back to my father's tear stained face. He was pale and very skinny. All his bones seemed to stick out. Especially his ribs. His muscles were still there but weren't as huge. My eyes trailed his arms and to the crimson stained bandages on his wrists.

I found myself feeling bad. I felt terrible. No matter what he did, he did not deserve to feel like that. No one did. I closed my eyes in shame. How could I do such a thing? Hate my own father. Some son I am. I hand went for his for his. I intertwined my fingers with his. They were cold. That's he first time I had ever felt them cold. His hands were always full of life. His life had almost drained completely out of his body. I gave a tight squeeze. My breathing hitched as I heard a low groan.

His ebony eyes fluttered open, "Gohan . . . Whe-where am I?" He glanced around the room, his words slightly slurred by the drugs in his system. "What are you doing here?"

Before I could speak Vegeta did, "You're in the hospital." My father's face seemed to light up as he heard Vegeta's voice but a smile never came to his lips.

"Wh-why?" I lifted his arm so he could see. Instantly, tears flooded his eyes and poured out. "Go-Go away" he sobbed and weakly shoved at me. I caught his arms with mine.

"No- tell me why-?" I was grabbed roughly from behind and jerked away from my father.

"Get the hell away from him. He said go away, so go!" Vegeta snarled at me.

"Fine. I could careless if he dies or not!" I shouted even though I knew it wasn't true. I stormed out of the room, closely followed by Pan and Videl.

"Gohan . . . maybe you should go home for a while and take a nap." I turned towards Videl, her lovely voice calming me, slightly.

"Okay then I will. Don't expect me to come back either."

"We don't." My daughter growled. I spun away from them and rushed out of the hospital. Trying to hold back the tears. Why am I so . . . stupid? I wanted to go back. Say I was sorry but I can't now. He'll never forgive me . . . never . . .

To Be Continued . . .


	9. 9

**Happy**

**Chapter 9**

I was left in the room with Kakkarot. No sound came from him as he stared after his oldest son. That-

"I said go away . . . that means you too. I want to be alone." I faced him; his knees were pulled up to his chest. His arms wrapped around them. My eyes slowly closed and opened again, he was staring at the door.

"You've been alone for far too long." I moved closer until I was next to him. His dark eyes never met mine. Dammit. "Kakkarot, look at me." His eyes glanced my way. "I'm trying to help you. How do you expect to get out of this fucking situation?"

"What situation. I'm going home and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm fine."

My eyes rolled, "We know about the last time you tried to kill yourself."

"What?" His eyes widened. "I- that was the only time."

"The doctor said that you came here with tons of aspirin in your system, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I- it was an accident- I- was trying to make the pain go away. I thought if I took a lot of them. It would stop. The pain would go away" He actually thought that? "Yeah." He answered. "When did it happen?"

"The night before the party at Capsule Corp. That's why I looked so sick. I didn't want to talk, I was afraid I'd get sick again. I left early and went to the doctors after I started throwing up." That explains a lot. I sighed as he spoke again. "The pain didn't go away. I felt worse."

"If you take too much aspirin it makes you sick. It could have killed you." He turned his head towards me.

"Vegeta . . ." He only said my name, he sighed heavily and gazed at me. His eyes seemed to look into my soul. "Did you mean what you said?" My eyebrows knitted together; does he think he's that worthless? He nodded. "But you make me feel special." I was about to answer but I stopped myself. What the hell? I didn't say that aloud. "Yeah you did. Did you mean to say something else?" There was sudden anger in his words.

"No. I didn't say that so you could hear. I said it in my mind. I was going to tell you. Did you see my mouth move?"

"I wasn't really looking . . ."

Kakkarot can you hear me? I said in my mind. "Yeah." He answered. Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit. This isn't good. "What?"

"You can hear what I'm thinking." How can he hear my thoughts? It's impossible. We didn't mate . . . so how is it possible?

"I can?" His eyes widened in wonder. I looked down at his wrists; my blood was flowing through his body. Oh shit- that's what it is. "What are you talking about?"

"You almost died, you were out of blood. So, I let them take mine. That's why you're alive. It must have caused a bond . . ." Now he can hear what I'm thinking . . . dang, I'm gonna have to shut off my mind from him.

"Why? Vegeta, you're not making any sense."

I clenched my jaw; he keeps on listening to my thoughts. "I'm not!" He shouted. "Go away! I'm sick of you yelling at me!"

Yelling? Had I been yelling? "Yes you were."

"Then I'm sorry."

"Vegeta." He swung his feet over the side of the bed, taking off the cables strapped on him.

"I wouldn't do that. The doctors will come in here." He stopped.

"I wanna leave." His eyes met mine. "You brought me here Vegeta. You take me home."

I shook my head. "You won't be leaving here for a while."

His eyes widened, "What! Why?"

I crossed my arms and sat down on the end of the bed. "After the last stunt you pulled the doctors decided you're a hazard to yourself and others. You won't stay here. You're going to a place for mentally unstable people."

He gasped, "No- I'm not mentally unstable!" He got to his feet, ripping the rest of the wires from his body.

"Stop!" I grabbed his wrists. He whimpered as I pushed him back onto the bed. "Look at this from our perspective. You've tried to kill yourself twice. You are not safe to be by yourself!"

His eyes closed. "I'm not crazy."

"I know you're not. You're just very depressed."

His eyes filled with tears, "I thought- I thought you would help me?"

"I am!"

"Then bring me home." His eyes narrowed as a tear slipped from his eye.

"I would if I could. I think you're going to leave tomorrow." I sighed as more tears rained down his porcelain face.

"Will I see you and Goten?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't you?"

"They'll put me in a jacket, those white ones."

"If you try to hurt anyone they will."

The door burst open. Doctor Roberts stood there. "Is everything alright?"

I nodded, "He's fine. Just a little shaken up." The doctor came closer to Kakkarot.

"You've made a great recovery, tomorrow you will leave to the asylum tomorrow." He forced a smile at us. "You only have a few more minutes to visit. I'll return when your time is up." He turned and left the room.

Kakkarot broke the silence, "But I don't wanna go there."

I growled in the back of my throat, I sometimes forget how annoying he can be. "It's your fault you're here. If you hadn't been an idiot, you wouldn't be in this mess."

He then whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't change what happened, you could have died." My eyes softened.

"That was the idea." Then the tears started again. The clear crystals dripped off his chin as he brought his hand to his face a caught his head in his hands. "You should have let me die. I should be dead. I don't need to be here anymore. Everyone is so . . . cruel to me. I did nothing. You even said so. I was myself and I was shunned because of it. They told me to be a good father, but I was busy saving their lives. I never once asked for a thank you. I never got one. I thanked others. I thanked you. Vegeta. No one cares. Deep in your heart, you know it's true. You felt the same way. I don't know if you do anymore, but it doesn't matter. You're the only one-"

My eyes looked towards the ground, "Shouldn't it be enough? Shouldn't I be enough?"

"Vegeta, I only want to be happy. Is that so much to ask? It's only one thing. One Kami damn thing. Look at what I have done and look at what anyone has done for me. They've been friends, but couldn't they see? Chichi . . . she gave me Gohan and Goten. She gave me joy; they gave me joy but now . . . they're gone. I never see Gohan. You heard it yourself he hates me. Goten is always gone. Everything that was important to me is gone. I prayed every night for one thing. To be happy. Did I get it? No."

"Did you even try to be happy? It just doesn't come to you. Praying does jack shit. I would know. You stopped coming over. Your life stopped. I'm sure Chichi is happy with how your life is now. Do you think she'd want you to live like this? I don't. She'd want you to be happy. I miss you Kakkarot. I miss YOU. I miss who you were. Even if this is the true you, crying like a baby. I still love you. I care, I always will. Chichi loves you. Why can't you see past her death and look to the future? Everyone dies. You need to accept it."

Kakkarot's eyes met mine. "I don't want to. Why can't we live forever? Why couldn't they live forever? Why- why couldn't she? WHY? Vegeta . . . I don't understand why it hurts so much. All the other times they died, I was sad but not like this." More tears cascaded down his cheeks.

"They can't be brought back, that's why."

"You'll die?" His body now shook from sobbing.

I didn't want to lie to him. When I do die, he'll be broken more. "Yes, but I'll stay with you. I promise."

"Stay forever."

"I can't. It's not my choice. I'll stay as long as I can."

"With me?" Hope filled his voice.

I nodded, "yes."

"Vegeta, come here." He motioned for me to stand in front of him; we were the same height when he's sitting on the bed. "Will you visit me, everyday?"

"Of course I will."

He moved closer, his warm breath hitting my face, sending chills shooting through my spine. "Will you love me?" His lips were now almost against mine.

"If you want me to." His hands caught mine and he brought them towards his mouth. I gasped as his teeth nipped at the end of my gloved fingers. The faint stabbing pain increased with each time he bit my fingertips. "I won't hurt you, no matter what. I'll love you. Will you love me too? Look at me." His tear filled eyes met mine.

"I will. I'll love you. I love you. Please don't leave me like everyone else has. Please . . . don't leave." My gloved fingers brushed across his cheek, pushing his tears away.

"I'll never leave you."

"Promise me you won't leave."

I sighed, "I promise. Now you have to promise."

"I promise."

Why does he look so beautiful when he cries? The tears trail down the soft plains of his face, each curve was wet with his pain. His eyes held nothing back. This is the true Kakkarot.

"Vegeta . . ." he whispered, his face still inches away from mine. "I'm beautiful when I cry?"

Damn, forgot he can hear my thoughts. "Yes, you are."

"Why? Is it because my true emotions are showing? Not the fake smiles." That's why. He's right. "I hope you don't plan on making me cry."

I shook my head, "I would never make you cry."

"But you did."

"Then I'm sorry Kakkarot."

"Sorry doesn't change what happened." I knew that would come back and bite me in my ass.

"I know but that is all I can do."

"Same here."

"Then were even?"

"Yes." I pulled him forward and pressed my lips to his. Ignoring that annoying pain that was there as our lips connected. What the hell is that anyways? Power surge or something. His lips pressed back, but with less force as mine. In between pants he moaned, "Love me Vegeta." My hands snaked around his waist and to his back, my gloved fingers prodding his honeyed skin.

"Dad?" I jerked around as I heard Trunks' voice. I wiped my mouth with the back of my glove. His eyebrows was raised in amusement. Goten was behind him blushing.

I was at a loss for words.

"Goten? Trunks?" Kakkarot spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper.

Goten immediately rushed to his side, "dad what were you thinking." He cried as he wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry if I did anything mean." Kakkarot patted his back. Trunks moved next to me. I glanced over at him. His right eye closed and opened quickly. He winked at me! That brat!

"Don't worry dad. I'll keep it a secret." He smiled at me. Goten moved towards us, and Trunks switched places with him.

I couldn't hear what he was saying to Kakkarot, but I had a feeling when Kakkarot's cheeks turned rosy. I chuckled, still wondering what he had said.

Well Kakkarot, what did he say? I asked him in my mind.

"Nothing." He said out loud. Trunks stared at him.

"Huh?"

I smirked; I knew he was lying.

"You're creeping me out Goku. So, are you coming to our house?"

"No . . . I have to go to this place . . ."

"The Looney bin?"

"Yeah . . ." He was feeling rather uncomfortable with the word looney. I could tell in the way he answered.

Goten spoke up, "But he's not crazy."

"The doctor said he's a hazard to himself and others."

"Oh . . . but dad wouldn't hurt anyone. I know it." Goten's eyes saddened at the thought.

"The doctors don't. He needs to go and get some rest. He might make some friends . . ."

Trunks put his hand in his pockets and said, "yeah, crazy ones." My eyes glared at Trunks, he immediately cowered. "Uh, I think we should leave Goten."

"I should leave too." I put in. Visiting hours are over. I could hear Doctor Roberts notifying the people in the room next to us. Kakkarot's shoulders slumped.

"I thought you wouldn't leave."

"I have to go. I'll be back tomorrow as early as I can."

He forced a smile, "okay then. I'll be waiting."

"Get some sleep and eat something Kakkarot. Goodbye." I opened the door.

"Bye Goku, see you later. Get well soon." Trunks waved and went out the door I held open with my foot.

Goten went over to his dad and hugged him tightly, he said something I couldn't hear then, "Bye." He then went out the door. I smiled at him.

"Sleep well." I flicked off the light switch as I shut the door.

To be continued . . .


	10. 10

**Happy**

**Chapter 10**

My eyes stared forward at nothing in particular. My thoughts wandered, searching for a familiar face. One I never want to forget. A face I can't forget. As I grasp a hold of the warm fingers, I stand up and go to the front door, swinging it open and slowly walking out. My eyes look up to the vast sky, the colors of the sunset astounding me with it's beauty, reminding me of his bleeding eyes, his bleeding heart, his bleeding wrists.

The sky is crimson. The rain will soon come. Rain reminds me of his tears- dammit, everything reminds me of him. I blink back my own rain as I thought of what he said.

"Sorry doesn't change what happened, you could have died." Those were my words; I had not expected his answer.

"That was the idea." I felt as I if I had been slapped again. No- not slapped, it felt as if my heart had been ripped out and torn to small ribbons and was all that remained of what it once was.

The world was so cold to him. Is so cold. I shivered as an icy wind shoved my hair back. It is cold. The hairs on my arms began to stick up as the sky cried. Each clear droplet sprinkled onto my heated skin. My eyes went back to the sky.

The tears caught in my lashes mixing with my salty ones. I know Kakkarot is crying at this exact moment. He will be crying for a long time. All I can do is hope he will get better. I will dry up his tears. I swear I will. I promised I would. I have to hope that he tries too. He can't expect me to baby him. Though I will most likely end up babying him. I sighed as more tears trickled down my face whether they belonged to the sky or me, I didn't know. Maybe they're Kakkarot's . . .

Soon my skin was saturated, so was my clothing. I turned and headed back into the deserted house. Trunks and Goten left to get Kakkarot's things. Which wasn't much. They will be back soon. I should let my tears fall now before they come back and see. But I wiped them away. I will not be weak.

I grimaced as a familiar pain began at my temple, my vision blurred for a moment. I staggered back, catching my balance after a few moments, my knees still threatened to give out. What the hell was that? I blinked my sight back. My hands caught the door handle and slammed it shut. The sound echoed through the deafening silence.

My mind was still aching from what happened, damn headaches. They stared a couple months ago; the pain sometimes was so intense I couldn't move. I found myself overwhelmed with nausea. Migraines. That's all it is. Migraines.

I held my temples and massaged them gently. Each moment the ache seemed to subside little by little. Until it was a dull throb. I dragged myself to the couch and dropped down onto it, resting my head against the plush pillow. Letting my eyes slowly drifted shut, Kakkarot's laugh echoed in my mind, so did his wide grin.

I might have lost him. I might never see that again. I might never hear his soft chuckle. I might have never seen him.

I treated him horribly. I am just as bad as his brat, Gohan. I am just like him. I don't want to be, but what did I do besides spar with him? Nothing. I hate myself, how could Kakkarot like me at all? My eyes clenched, another tear prying it's way out. I wiped it away. Another tear not shed.

I could still hear the sound of rain; it was almost like Kakkarot's laughter. So rare and yet so beautiful.

Maybe the sun will come out tomorrow . . . maybe Kakkarot will smile. The sun will shine when he does. I know it. I sighed as the front door opened; Trunks and Goten came in. They were silent as they crept past me. My eyes cracked open, a small bag in Trunks' muscular arms; Kakkarot's earth name was written in black marker. Obviously written by his dead wife.

Trunks saw my eyes open, a forced smile appeared on his face. He could tell I had been crying. "Hey dad, I'm gonna bring Goku's things to your room." I nodded.

Trunks left the living room, but Goten still stood there. Something was in his hand. He stepped towards me as I sat up. "Vegeta . . ." His bottom lip quivered as he held out the small box. "This is for you." He set the small box in my hands. It was heavy. "There are things for me and the others that are alive. I thought you should see it first."

I eyed the wooden box. It was very old. Words were written on it and small hearts and other shapes covered the surface. "Where did you get this?"

"It was in his drawer. I saw it a long time ago sitting on his dresser but it disappeared after mom . . . died," his words cracked at the end of the sentence. I held back the tears as I saw them creep down his cheeks. "He misses her so much. So do I. So does Gohan." I set the box a side for a moment and he wrapped his arms around me. "Dad's gonna be okay. I know it."

"So do I." I held him tightly and released him. He smiled at me. His smile so much like Kakkarot's.

"I feel better now. You're not as mean as I thought."

"I guess one person can change because of another's pain." He nodded as I said this. It's true. I changed because of Kakkarot's pain.

"I'm gonna go upstairs with Trunks . . . goodnight. I think you should see what's inside. You might not like everything." He turned away from me and disappeared from sight as he went up the darkened stairs. My eyes went to the box that sat next to me.

I grasped it in my hands. The scent of crayons reaching me. Crayons? I eyed it. Kakkarot drew on it with crayons. It appeared to be very old, broken pieces off wood stuck out. I flipped up the small metal clasp that held it together. My eyes immediately saw the envelopes. Names written sloppily across it. Must be Kakkarot's handwriting. I didn't know he could write. Let alone spell my name right. I picked it up the top card, my name written on it and I brought the white envelope towards me. The scent of Kakkarot and wax filled my senses. His sweet scent that I already miss . . .I opened the back of the card and pulled out the piece of paper that was inside it.

To be continued . . .


	11. 11

**Happy**

**Chapter 11**

~ ~ ~ Vegeta's POV ~ ~ ~

I opened the back of the card and pulled out the piece of paper that was inside it. My cold fingers flipped up the folded piece of paper so now I could see the messy handwriting. In black ink, I could see my name written again on the top line of the paper. The letters almost as big as the line they sat on. I eyed the other writing, much of it looked like scribbles but I could make out the words. I sighed heavily then brought my eyes back to the top line.

'Vegeta

Have you ever wanted to say something to someone so bad but when the time comes, you're at a loss for words?

[I nodded]

Right now, I have that feeling. The feeling of emptiness is not new to me but I've wanted to say so much. But there are no words. I guess I wanted to show you but what would I show you? How weak I am. How one thing reduced me to nothing? No . . . you tell me enough how weak I am; I don't need to be told again.

[Something warm slid down my cheek. A tear.]

I try to think that it's just your way of telling me that you like me, but I don't know. I don't seem to know anything. I've always thought you hated me but when I look into your eyes . . . there isn't hate.

[You're right Kakkarot, there isn't hate.]

It's the same look you had when you were near Bulma. It seemed like . . . love. But why would you pretend to hate me? You confuse me, but I probably confuse you too.

[Yes, you do]

I know if you are reading this, I am no longer alive. I have taken my life. I have my reasons. I will finally be happy and with the woman, I love.

I didn't cry. I held them back, but I soon found it so hard to do. Such a simple thing. You'd think the strongest warrior in the universe would be able to do that. But I couldn't. I'm so lost. I don't know what else to do. No one cares. I'm all alone.

[You're never alone. You'll never be alone again]

Vegeta I want to say I'm sorry, but I am not sorry. So why would I say it? I don't know. But I can now say one thing that I know is true. You are the strongest warrior in the universe if I am gone. At least you gain something.

[That doesn't matter to me anymore, only you do]

I guess this is where the letter ends and you are left wondering what I wanted to say but couldn't. Just tell everyone I love them and please take care of them. Please do that for me. Thank you. One last thing, Vegeta. You've always meant a lot to me and I love you. I love you as a friend and more. I thank you for helping me save the universe on many occasions. Thank you. And maybe we'll see each other soon. Goodbye.

Love always,

Kakkarot'

He signed it his Sayian name. A smile came to my face, though the tears did not stop. I carefully placed the letter back into its envelope.

Kakkarot . . .

I set down the paper and I reached for the box. I took out other letters.

Names were printed sloppily on the front of each one. I reached my hand inside and wrapped my hands around them. I yelped in surprise as something sharp jabbed my finger. I pulled it back and brought it to my lips, suckling on the wound. What the hell? I removed my hand from my mouth and I carefully lifted each envelope off I gasped as I saw what was rested on the bottom of the box.

A knife. Not just any knife, a very beautiful one. Jews embedded into the gold handle. I know what Kakkarot was planning on doing with this. But why hadn't he used it when he tried to kill himself? Maybe he was so distraught that he forgot . . . I frowned.

My eyelids began to droop.

Dammit, I need to sleep. Tomorrow I'll go visit Kakkarot at the hospital. I already miss him. I sighed and put everything back it the box, I got up and went upstairs, hoping that sleep would come fast.

To be continued . . .


	12. 12

**Happy**

**Chapter 12**

Kakkarot had been in the hospital for a day, a week, a month, and now four month. Each day, he improved. His smiled changed, as did his eyes. They were no longer filled with such agony.

Now, those feeling were just a dull ache. One in the back of his mind, but I could still hear him cry occasionally. Not often, but enough. His wounds had healed, but left hideous scars on his wrists. We visited him as much as possible which was only about 2 nights a week, but Gohan was yet to show his face. I was almost happy, but I couldn't fight the feeling that it was hurting Kakkarot deep down inside the hollows of his heart.

A smile had came to my face as they told me the good news. He was able to come home, but he had to be supervised; I needed to watch him closely; to make sure he wouldn't revert to his suicidal ways. Today I was going to pick him up. Goten, Trunks, Pan, and I were going to get him. We could barely contain our happiness. But who could?

We chatted loudly the whole drive there. The boys sat in the back and Pan was up front with me. A huge grin was across her tan features.

"I can't wait to bring Grandpa back home, he'll be so happy. I miss his smiles already!" She looked over at me. "I'm glad you've been helping him."

"Thank you Pan but it was the least I could do."

"Hey Dad, afterwards can we go get some ice cream?" Trunks asked from the back.

"Yeah!" Goten and Pan shouted in unison.

"Sure, why not." We soon arrived in the parking lot. The young demi-Sayians were getting jitterier every second. I too was getting a knot in my stomach. I opened the door to the front of the hospital and we moved inside. Familiar faces greeted us.

"Mr. Vegeta! Pan, Goten, Trunks! I'm so glad you made it. Goku is in the lobby talking with one of his many friends. I'm sad that he has to go but, I'm positive he is better." I nodded and we moved towards the lobby; where the low chatter was coming from. I opened the door.

Kakkarot sat at one of the tables; he was coloring something and talking to his pale friend. "Yeah, I know what you mean . . . can you hand me the blue . . . thanks" The man handed Kakkarot the color. His body seemed to shudder for a moment then it went back to the way it was before.

"I don't want you to go Goku." His friend spoke lowly. "Who will I color with? Who will talk to me?"

Kakkarot looked up and met his friend's green eyes. "I'll visit you. I promise."

"You are t-too kind." Kakkarot smiled and went back to is coloring; he had not yet noticed the children and I.

"Kakkarot."

"DAD!"

"GRANDPA!"

"GOKU!"

He looked up to see our smiling faces.

Arms were encircling his body. "Oof not so hard." He chuckled, "you've gotten so strong. Sheesh I was in here that long?"

I stood back and watched the three young Sayians hug Kakkarot; many of their words were coming out so fast I couldn't hear them. And I bet neither could Kakkarot.

"Whew you've already worn me out." He panted for breath; it was obviously fake. He was putting on a show already. I smirked as he looked over to me. The children let go of him. "Hey Vegeta!" He gave a wave and I stepped over to him. I embraced the other Sayian.

"I'm glad you're better."

"Thanks Vegeta. I'm glad too. All of you helped me so much." I released him, pink splashed onto my cheeks as I noticed all the faces looking at us. I cleared my throat.

"We should get going. I will get your belongings and they'll bring you to the car." Kakkarot nodded and the group walked out of my sight. A smile played across my face and I went to his doctor. He had Kakkarot's few belongings. Not counting the dead flowers that many people had brought him. Marron had brought some, as had others, none I really cared about. I picked up the items with ease and I exited the dreaded hospital and went to the car. They were already seated inside. I got in the drivers side, and I turned on the heater, it was rather cold. Maybe it will snow this year.

"Brr, it's freezing!" Pan said from the back, she rubbed her hands together.

"Wimp" Trunks muttered. I chuckled and Kakkarot's eyes met mine.

"I've missed you. And I want to tell you something. I-"

"It can wait, tell me later tonight alright?" He nodded and bit his bottom lip. "Right now, we're going to get some ice cream." His face lit up.

"ICE CREAM!"

"Yes, Kakkarot ice cream."

He was once again his old self.

The big grin, the sparkling eyes.

Yes, this was my Kakkarot.

After the ice cream, we headed home; Pan decided to stay the night in the one of the many spare bedrooms.

We walked into the orange scented house. "Wow, it's so great to be back." Goku chirped happily as he smelled the air.

Pan stretched her arms. "I'm gonna go to bed. 'Nite Grandpa, Vegeta, Trunks, and Goten." She soon disappeared from sight, as did the other demi- Sayians until Kakkarot and I stood in awkward silence.

"I'm kinda tired too . . ." Kakkarot said lowly; his eyes looked to the ground. "Where am I gonna sleep?"

I was silent for a moment; I hadn't expected this to seem so awkward. I finally opened my mouth and words escaped. "You can sleep in my room if you wish."

I waited mutely for an answer. And I got one, I hadn't expected. "Alright. Come on." He had already walked away from me and he headed towards the bedroom. I quickly caught up to him.

We wordlessly went into the room, removed our clothes. Kakkarot remained in light blue cotton pajama pants, and I was only clad in boxers. We both laid down under the warm blankets.

"Kakkarot." I spoke. He turned and faced me.

"Yeah . . .?"

"What did you want to tell me?" I could only see his outline through the darkness.

There was silence yet again. "I want to thank you. I-I don't take back what I said or did- but-" His words crackled as he began to sob. I brought his into my arms pulling him half on top of myself; gently stroking his hair. He rested his head on my chest. "Thank you * sniff * Vegeta. Thank you so so much!" His arms embraced me.

"Your welcome."

His tears slid down my skin, sending shivers through my body. My eyes slid shut as his breathing calmed.

"Good night Geta. I . . . love . . . you . . ." His words faded as he fell asleep.

"I love you too." Then I fell into a dreamless slumber.

To Be Continued . . .


	13. 13

**Happy**

**Chapter 13**

My thoughts raced as the doctor frowned. Oh Kami . . . I knew something was wrong. I knew it! Why . . .

"Mr. Son. I have terrible news." My heart tightened up as the doctor spoke. "Vegeta . . . has a brain tumor and, he doesn't have much longer to live." The only sound in the room was the shattering of my heart. Forgotten tears crept down my face.

"No . . ." I whispered in disbelief. But I had felt it, I knew something was wrong but I couldn't stop the tears. They kept falling.

"You can go see him if you'd like." I nodded sharply, wiping the tears from my cheeks and I followed the man that had been my doctor when I needed help.

I entered the room and it shut silently behind me as my eyes went to Vegeta. A smile was on his unusually pale face. I immediately went to his side. I pulled him close. Never wanting to let him go. "Oh Kami Vegeta." I sobbed and kissed his forehead.

"Don't cry." I heard his low reply. "I'll be fine."

My eyes met his. "Yeah, you're right. You'll be fine." I forced a smile. Oh gosh. This can't be happening.

It's been two years since I've been to this hospital and I had planned never to come back. But I never thought I'd be here for someone else. Even in my nightmares I hadn't seen this coming.

The door opened and a familiar voice caused me to turn away from the man I love.

My eyes met those of my oldest son. Unshed tears lined up at the corner of his eyes. "Dad." He said softly. Vegeta smiled at me and I released him.

My arms wrapped around my son and he did the same. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. I could feel his tears dripping on my chest.

"I know. I've missed you so much."

We stayed like that for a while. Not saying anything until Vegeta spoke.

"I guess you finally came to your senses." Gohan smiled.

"You could say that." He let go and hugged Vegeta. "I'm really sorry. - I don't know why I was being such a jerk. I couldn't forgive myself and . . . I had to have someone to blame. And I'm so sorry."

"We know." I said lowly.

Gohan frowned. "Sorry, but I have to go right now. I promised Videl I'd take Pan shopping. You know how she is. Now maybe she'll actually talk to me . . ."

I smiled at him. "I'm sure she will. See you later son!" We embraced again and I waved as he left the room.

"We'll everything seems to be going well once again."

I shook my head. "No, you're sick Vegeta."

He snorted and chuckled. " I'm fine. I'm a Sayian Prince. I'll pull through."

"Sure Geta . . ." His face suddenly grimaced and he grabbed at his temples. Oh Kami!

"DOCTOR!" I screamed and the door opened.

He quickly went to Vegeta and injected him with something to dull the pain. I sighed as his hands fell to his side. His doctor faced me. "He'll be fine. He needs to stay in bed, but if he wants to he can go home with you tomorrow. It would be the best for you two." I nodded and he left the room. I knelt next to Vegeta and took his hand, pressing my lips to his knuckles.

"I love you . . ."

"Hey Vegeta!" He turned to face Goku. His eyebrows raised in slight amusement.

"Kakkarot, where the hell did you get that?"

Goku frowned. "You don't like it?"

He smirked at him. "No, nothing like that. In fact I like it . . . a lot. I was just wondering how you a hold of all that honey." The younger Sayian looked down at his naked body. Honey dripped off every part of his bare skin.

"I have my ways."

"Yeah, you walked in naked and said, pour honey on me or I'll blast you." He chuckled.

"No . . . I went and bought some the other day." He nodded.

"So, you thought you'd show up with honey on you . . ." He continued to stare at the other Sayian's gorgeous body.

Goku smiled warmly and stepped forward. "It's what you've been dreaming about. Isn't it?"

Vegeta mentally slapped himself. He had been doing that a lot lately. Most of his dreams involved Goku covered head to toe in different types of things. Whip cream, chocolate syrup, honey, and even melted butter at times.

"Alright Kakkarot." He growled in the back of his throat. "I'm going to have to clean you up." He stepped forward menacingly. "Get into the bathroom! You're a mess!" He shouted and pointed down the hall. Goku frowned. He thought it would work He really did! He wanted Vegeta's dreams to come true and this was one of them. But why was he being like this? Goku didn't understand as he did as his love commanded. He stood in the bathroom as Vegeta stepped behind him.

Goku shuddered as he felt something nip at his ear. He turned to face Vegeta and saw no one there. "Veh-Vegeta?" He received no answer as he moved forward and turned on the shower. The room filled with steam after a few moments and Goku stepped into the large shower.

He let the hot water leave red droplets on his skin as it shoved his hair down to his shoulders and fell limply in front of his eyes. He paused as someone stepped in behind him. "Kakkarot, I didn't say you would have to clean it off." His breath hitting Goku's back.

Goku moaned as something hot ran across his back, removing some of the honeyed goodness.

To be continued . . .


End file.
